Mother's Day Message-Part 3

Part 3:  Didn't know you were in for the long haul, did ya?

Over the last few weeks, the Lord has really been helping me to find ways to overcome feelings of weakness and guilt.  Let me tell you, he has really been making sure that I understand this concept!  Isn’t that just like the Lord?  J

2 CORINTHIANS 12:9-10 (NIV):

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

HOW DO WE OVERCOME FEELINGS OF WEAKNESS AND GUILT?   I have a gathered a few ways that might help you:

1.    ASK others for help.  No this isn’t a sign of weakness-but use this as an opportunity to relieve some stress and make someone else feel special.  When we first had Isaiah, I can remember thinking that I could do it all and that I didn’t need any help from my mother-in-law.  I had this idea that she would think that I wasn’t a good wife or mother.  As our relationship has grown, I realized that she really does love helping me do dishes and clean my toilets…HA…not really…what she loves is being a part of something bigger and greater…helping to raise my children and provide some moments of sanity for me!  This makes me so very thankful.  

2.     Have a friend write down your strengths as a mom OR person.  You will be surprised and pleased.  When Pastor asked me to speak today, I felt very inadequate and unworthy as a mother to share anything with you.  I began to express this to Missy Osborne.  She later wrote down some areas where I excel.  The qualities that meant the most were that I strive to be Godly, pray with my children, and I am raising them in church.  THIS is my ultimate desire.  I know that I am doing something right when my children come and ask me to pray for them even for the smallest things like a lost glove.  Then when that glove is found you can hear “praise the lord” and “he touched me…amen” coming from a 6 year old, little boy.  From that, Isaiah took the opportunity to call and share his praises with my parents.  Annie is just three and she always ask for prayer when she isn’t feeling well.  My children are seeing the power of prayer and the work of the Lord in their lives.  It is important to note that I am not doing this alone…it is so true that it takes a village people.  My husband, family, and our church family are helping every step of the way. 

   

3.     Take time to take of you!  I don’t think it is a mistake that you can hear “me” at the end of Mommy.  If it means taking a walk, taking a nap, going to the movie with a friend, or just drinking a cup of coffee before the kids get up…DO IT and don’t feel guilty.  These brief moments are needed, so we can come back ready to attack everyone else’s needs. 

4.    Last, but certainly not least…SPEND TIME WITH THE LORD!

Hebrew 4:16:

16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

For anything else to come to full value, we must make time for HIM.  I know you have heard it before, but it is especially true when you are facing the battlefield of motherhood.  Yes, I know that there just doesn’t seem to be enough time…MAKE TIME to PRAY, PONDER, and PRAISE!  I used to think that I needed to spend hours praying and reading my bible and when I didn’t the guilt really set in.  The Lord has been revealing ways that I can make Him the top priority.   

a.    PRAY…Romans 8:26:

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
·      So, I guess last week, pastor mentioned that he got rid of all of his Olivia Newton-John posters, so I am thinking it is okay if I mention MC Hammer.  Some of you may remember him from back in the day.  Even though he wore those crazy hammer pants, he had a great song about prayer.  “We got to pray just to make it today, that’s why we pray.”  For some reason, this song has always stuck with me.  I actually sing it to the kids just before we say our prayers at night.  Crazy, I know, but it is fun for the kids and is so unbelievable true.  We have to pray to make it!  Remember, we can talk to Jesus as a friend as we are going about our daily tasks. 

b.    PONDER…Focus on one memory verse for the whole week.  This could be a verse that your kids can memorize with you.  Post it everywhere and really try to put that verse into action. 

c.    PRAISE…sing kids’ praise and worship songs; play CDs in the car; praise Him in the small things and the big things.  Not too long ago, my father mentioned in a sermon how I always pray for a close parking spot at the mall because that gives me an excuse to buy something.  Let me explain, when I was in high school, I got in my head that it was the Lord’s will that I buy something if I parked closed to the store.  We know this was just a way that I could justify a purchase.  Boy, would I sing up the praises if I got that close spot.  I really loved it when I was pregnant since Ohio has those special spots for pregnant woman!  I don’t really live by this philosophy or really think this is true…most of the time.  Just in case I get this notion again, Brian sings up the praises when I have to park far away.   

As mothers and followers of Christ, we are going to face ways that we feel weak, but it is important that we take the steps necessary to recognize that the Lord is our strength.  If he is our strength, then everything else falls into place.  I don’t want my child to see a perfect mom, but as a mother that is striving to be more like the Lord and constantly relies on HIS strength.

LAMENTATIONS 3:22-23:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

In conclusion, I want to bring the words of two songs to your attention. 

Do you remember singing “Jesus Loves Me” as a kid?  One part of the song says…little ones to him belong; they are weak, but he is strong!  As children we learned he is strong.  May I remind you today, that he was strong then and he is strong today!  Allow him to be your muscle man.

The last song is actually a new one called “Free to Be Me” by Francesca Battistelli.  Her lyrics remind us of the truth that He is our strength:

And You've got great plans for me

Though I can’t always see

Try to fit the pieces together

But perfection is my enemy

On my own I'm so clumsy

But on Your shoulders I can see

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything

Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring

But You look at my heart and You tell me

That I've got all You seek

And it’s easy to believe

I am FREE to be Me!

This song rings true because he carries us through the good times and the bad. 

I am praying you feel the strength and freedom to be you…the mother he has called you to be.

With Much Love,

Jayme

Mother's Day Message-Part 2

Part 2: Don't know how this reads, but you get the idea...

On a more serious note, how about the times when worry overcomes us, get overwhelmed, when we begin to compare ourselves to the perfect mom?  These are some areas that they Lord has laid on my heart to share with you today. 

1.    WORRY-When we had Annie, I felt like we were living under a cloud of worry.  For those of you that don’t know, the night we brought Annie home from the hospital, I went to lay her down for the night.  She began to make this coughing/gagging noise.  I got up to check on her only to find that she had gone limp and pretty much stopped breathing.  Nothing marks the weakness of worry like seeing your child sick or hurting.  We felt so helpless.  Worry and doubt began to settle in and basically consumed the first few months of little Annie Lenae’s life.  We were so blessed to have the support of our family, pastor, and friends to remind us of the Lord’s promise.  My father has always reminding me of this phrase…Worry ends where faith begins!  Think about that…worry fades away when you have a faith that the Lord is going to bring you through.  My father wrote this on a piece of paper and it is hanging on my fridge as a constant reminder. 

Isaiah 26:3, says, “I will give him perfect peace whose mind is stayed on him.”

As child and teenager, I experienced worry that resulted in ulcers.  I walked around fearful and worried about everything.  I didn’t know the extent of worry until I become a mother.  I can honestly say that the Lord used the situation with Annie and motherhood to teach me to rely on him for strength and protection.  I know that we wouldn’t have made it during that time without Him carrying us through it all!  Now, every once in a while, I can hear myself begin to worry, but I have to remind myself to go to the Lord in prayer and trust that His plan is way better than mine.  Philippians 4:6,7 teaches us just this.  We don’t need to be anxious about anything, but pray with thanksgiving and we will receive the peace of God. 

It is important for me to also take time to praise the Lord because Annie is doing wonderfully and he truly brought us through that rough time.  There is not a day that goes by that I don’t stare at her in amazement…she is a miracle, indeed. 

2.    OVERWHELMED

You have all heard the phrase, “so much to do and so little time.”  Moms often feel overwhelmed because we are on the “MOM-Me” rollercoaster.  What I mean is that there is always a child that is yelling MOM…take care of ME.  We often over-schedule ourselves because we can’t say NO.  Some of us can’t say NO to our kids and others of us can’t say NO to others and there are those that can’t say NO to anyone!  I often struggle with saying NO to others.  I agree to do this and that and then find myself living from task to task.  We set unrealistic goals and tasks that make it impossible to fulfill our every day duties.  We have ways that we want things done and it is stressful when that doesn’t pan out!  It is just flat out hard to balance everything-the noise, mess, chaos, schedules, to-dos and overwhelming sense of responsibility.  This just isn’t way that God wants us to feel.  I think we need to embrace the idea that we may not get everything done and that is OK! 

We expect too much of ourselves and need to take a break- a time-out of sorts.  A lot of times, my breaks are as simple as kissing my kids.  I don’t mean a kiss and then move on.  I will simply ignore all that has to be done, sit down on the floor with the kids to endless kissing and tickling.  For me, smelling their little faces and hearing their giggles gives me a renewed energy.  Whatever you choose to do, an occasional time-out is necessary.     

3.    COMPARISON TO THE PERFECT MOM…WONDER MOM

You have seen her…she is different for each of us, but she exists in our mind…the super hero, the perfect mom…Wonder MOM. 

I mean really…what is the perfect mom?  No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to reach the WONDER MOM status. As I began to evaluate this Wonder Mom phenom, I discovered that what I see as perfect is actually a collection of traits from several other moms.  At times, we feel that if we don’t meet the perfect standards we set for ourselves then we are weak as mothers.

If I am good in one area then I found another area that needs work.  Coupons, cooking, correction, creativity, cleaning, fashion, organization, AND the list goes on.  There are a lot of wonderful moms out there that can inspire you, but they are not perfect in every area and you aren’t either.  Let me repeat that…THERE IS NO PERFECT MOM.  Just remember it is good to be inspired by other mothers because we need to strive to be the very best mother, but be careful because there is a very fine line between inspire and compare.

 (the following was adapted from Sarah Bragg's book, Body. Boys. Beauty.) 

Comparison is a dangerous trap because what happens is you are putting yourself down OR exalting yourself.  Try to be the best mom to your children and stop trying to be the best mom you can be up against another mom.  Galatians 1:10 challenges us to seek the favor of God not men.  You are not trying to seek the favor of yourself or other moms around you, but the favor of GOD.      

My friend, Sarah, from college established this rule: Go out of your way to celebrate publicly whatever threatens you privately.  If you find that you are jealous or comparing yourself to another person, celebrate that trait first with God and then celebrate with that person.  This doesn’t mean cut yourself down!  Celebrate, so the spirit of jealousy and competition is weeded out of your heart.

  

All of this makes me question, why do we often feel weak or guilty?  The Lord has been gently reminding me that he allows us to feel this way, so that we will turn to HIM for help.  He is our strength and our hope!   No matter how well we do in some areas, we are always going to fail if we are relying on our own strength. 

***Hang with me...there is more...check back for some ways to overcome the feeling of weakness. *** 

:) 

Mother's Day Message-Part 1

So, um, did I tell you?  Our pastor asked me to speak on Mother's Day.  Thought that my family and peeps may like to read or hear my "sermon."  :)  If you would like to hear the message, click here and if you would like to read the message...stick with me.  Hold on because it is pretty long.  I tried to cut out introductions and such!
Let me just tell you that I was a nervous wreck, but something amazing happened during our praise and worship time.  I felt the Lord give me a complete peace and He helped me make it through.  I also have to mention that I have a whole new respect for my father, brother, pastor, or anyone in the ministry.  It takes a lot to sincerely prepare for a message.  In the end, I really feel blessed that I was able to hear the Lord and deliver His word.  I actually wrote all of the "sermon" out as a guideline, but the Lord helped me add some extra points.

While I am not a pastor, I grew up in a pastor’s home.  At a very early age, my father and mother began to instill the concept that we are all ministers.  Not all of us will be front and center, but have an important role in leading others to Christ.  Whether, young or old, mother or not-I hope that today you will leave feeling like you received a blessing from HIS word and promises!  Then in turn you might be able to minister to someone else.    

As early as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mother.  Most girls fulfill that dream by playing with dolls.  Now, I had my share of dolls, but I liked for my play to be a bit more realistic.  So, I would use my brother and sister.  To put it nicely, I was a bit bossy and often referred to them as “the kids.”  It is important to note that my sister is 2 years younger and my brother is three years younger than me.  I wasn’t really in the position to be a mother figure.  Now, I am pretty confident that they didn’t like this so much because I am still reminded that I am not their mother. 

I also remember during a church (North Mesa CoG) skit about my family, a joke was made about how I would have at least 8 children.  I am sure it was because I was great with kids and not because I was (am) bossy.  At the time, I thought that would be a definite.  I love kids and my father is the youngest of 10.  Now that I am the mother of 2, that is an absolute negative.  Wow…my Grandmamma Jones was an incredible woman to have 10 children!  I realize how much of a blessing it is being a mother, but this is far and above the hardest job I have ever been given.  I never realized this as a child because my mother made it look so easy. 

  

My mother is kind, classy, creative, a hard worker, sincere, quiet spiritual leader, easy to talk with, proud of her children and grandchildren, a fighter, and a friend.  Brian will tell you she is the best cook ever!  That doesn’t hurt my feelings because I think she is too!  I could go on and on because she really is that wonderful.  I am not the only one that feels this way!  People that aren’t even her children feel like she is a powerful role model and mother figure in their lives.  If you were to ask her if these qualities were true, she would be quick to tell you all the ways that she was weak.  It is so funny to me because as weak as she felt she was and IS, all I can see is strength.  GOD’s STRENGTH!  We recently got to laughing about one of the times that she felt she hit a weak moment.   I was in junior high at the time, and I guess my brother, sister, and I were pushing our mother over the edge.  Hard to believe, huh!?!  She finally reached her limit.  I remember that all of the sudden, she looked at us and said…I am leaving.  I thought…yeah, right…She seriously and quite literally got in the blue Cutlass Ciera and drove off with the three of us standing in the garage.  She was only gone for a minute or so because she only drove around the block, but let me tell you that this was a huge lesson for us.  You better believe that we started behaving…at least for that day.  This was a moment when she felt like she was weak, but God used as a strong teaching point. 



First Feeling of Weak as a Mom was when I had Isaiah…I could not put the kid down and when I did I would find things that I didn’t have organized correctly.  I would then try to reorganize.  I don’t even want to go into the fact that I could not get the house cleaned because who can do that when you are holding and kissing all over such a cute brown eyed boy?
One particular time when Isaiah was just two weeks old, Brian had to go out of town for his sister’s wedding.  He made Missy, Shannon, and Tiffani Minor check in on me.  I will never forget Missy walking in to a huge mess and me just flat out crying.  They all worked together to hold Isaiah and get my house put back together.  Isn’t it funny how our weaknesses with each child vary?

I have come to realize that as rewarding as being a mother is, there are a lot of areas where I feel weak which then turns to a deep feeling of guilt.  Let’s laugh for a moment about some of my areas of weakness. 

***I showed some pics of me being pulled into a million directions which make me feel weak (ex: always late, drowning in paperwork and laundry, keeping van and house clean)***